I never thought I could love as much as I did when I became a mother.
I’ve been sitting here on this topic for a few weeks. I had to calm down and think this situation out 199%.
My daughter had been doing real good paying her bills, including her transportation charges. She spends a large sum of her income on transportation. I have turned over every possibility for transportation in the suburbs of Kansas City, more specifically, Grandview, MO. The bus service in Kansas City doesn’t cover areas south of the metropolitan area.
I have a wonderful team of friends that have volunteered to assist with my daughter if I need them, including her counselor at Job One. Trust me, I’ve had to reach out on several occasions. This is a new adventure for my daughter and I was extremely nervous about leaving her. I still have doubts, but she is determined to make it on her own. She gets along great with my brother, it’s just getting her to understand and respect budgets, how to set them and follow them.
Here’s where the problem comes in…..
She met a young lady this summer at a job fair for disabled job seekers. I’m not sure what her disability is and it doesn’t matter. She lives with her mother, who my daughter says is disabled too. Maya’s job counselor told me when they first met to keep my eye on the mom. My daughter wants to have female friends so bad, immediately assigned her as the newest BFF. I have no problem with Maya going out with her friends, it’s just that everyone isn’t available to be the kind of friend she needs. She’s autistic, she has challenges and a “friend” has to be understanding with communicating with her.
Last month, Maya’s budget was shot and it was both of our faults. She still had about a week to go before she got paid and needed my help with transportation costs. Between the hours of 8:00 am-4:30 pm, she uses a transportation system that takes her to work and it costs her $2.50 per ride. After the hours I just listed, she’s on her own and that means Uber. They are not that expensive, but from our house to her job, it’s approximately $14.50 one way. So in the evenings and on the weekend, it costs a pretty penny. I allowed her to budget her SSI payment for her transportation. I wanted to see if she could handle it.
She called me to tell me how much money she had. I questioned her, what, when and why. We had a discussion, I’m trying to teach her how to save her money. I know she enjoys crocheting like her mom, but when you don’t have it, go to your stash that I left you. I left her a container full of yarn. She gets upset after our conversation, gets off the phone with me and she calls her friend’s mom.
The thick of it…
The mom calls me to tell me that Maya didn’t have any money and I could send money via Money Gram. She was on fumes (her words) but she would manage to take Maya to get the money. I immediately tell the lady thank you, but we have this taken care of. She says “Thank you” like she didn’t believe me but gets off the phone.
My husband and I were in the vehicle together and since she was on Bluetooth through our vehicle, he heard the conversation too, which I’m so glad he heard it. We had our can you believe this woman conversation and I immediately called Maya. I asked her what she said and why she called. She said she thought I wasn’t going to pay for her transportation, which I never said. I wanted her to learn or understand what she had done.
This woman has some large ones…
My phone rings again, it was the mom again. This time she tells me that Maya is so upset, and I wasn’t doing my job as a mother, I was making her work and not taking care of my business. I kept telling that woman, you need to back up, you don’t know what you are talking about and she just kept pushing until I went there with her. I told her to stay away from my daughter and hung up. I called Maya, had her block the daughter and mom.
Maya goes to work and calls me when she gets off asking me did I have someone call saying they would pick her up? I said no. She calls me in the evenings when she gets off because it’s late. Guess who’s outside waiting for her? This woman and her daughter. She called and spoke to a supervisor telling them that she was picking Maya up from work and to tell her. Since Maya blocked her she couldn’t call, so she took the responsibility to call and speak with a manager informing them she was picking Maya up.
Maya tells me they are there, I tell Maya not to get in their car, I have her put me on speaker so they can hear me. I tell this woman, that Maya is not allowed to ride with her. She tells my daughter, “I don’t want to talk to that f*****g cunt!” I told her she can call me anything she wants, but she needs to leave and stay away from my daughter. She proceeds to say, I’m here to take her home. I told her no, Maya is not riding with you. I tell Maya to go back inside Wal-Mart and go to the employee’s lounge and wait until I call her.
I call Maya’s job counselor who is aware of how this woman acts with people and she took over and said she would go and pick Maya up. I am so grateful for the people who we’ve met and the people that love my daughter and me and who will go beyond what is asked of them to help us.
I did attempt to call the police, but because I wasn’t in the city where everything happened, they would go but needed to talk to Maya. I couldn’t even file a protection order against her because I would have to go to Kansas City and file it.
Maya didn’t like the way the woman spoke to me or about me. She’s never heard anyone speak like that about me and it upset her. I explained that everyone doesn’t feel the way she does. I love her so much, she has such a loving spirit.
It’s been such a wonderful experience watching Maya become an adult and how excited she is about being responsible, living on her own with her uncle as a roommate and taking care of herself. Teaching her how to recognize predators, mean-spirited people and users will be a different challenge. She is going to eventually have to take driving lessons and learn how to drive. I believe she can do it, but she will need to have someone else teach her. Jade is stressing me with driving now.
I miss my girl and I want her to have every opportunity “regular” adults have. I spent the afternoon today calling around looking for transportation. The funny thing is our community, Grandview is just south of Kansas City. It’s got to be something with the local government that no one is willing to explain to me. I’ll keep you all posted on our progress.